Totally Gross

It’s yucky rainy outside—not quite sprinkling, not quite raining, just a spitting water in your face kind of nastiness. And the clouds are doing what they do best in Seattle--block any and all sunlight. I looked at the forecast and it says we have six more months of rain…no, seriously.

Time to get out the B vitamins and Selenium and ask my doctor about anti-depressants.

Yet, in spite of the weather and the thoughts of impending darkness for months and months, I will remain positive.

I do, however, have to mention one thing…Seattle is not as clean as it would like to believe.

WARNING: The following anecdote is gross and its about poop so if poop is not your thing, just stop reading now…I mean it.

Last Monday—a week ago—I got off the bus and walked down the steps for the underpass by Mercer, to go under Aurora Avenue. On the steps was a pile of human feces. Yes, poop. It must’ve been there at least since the night before and was probably delivered by one of the many homeless people who sleep in the lawn masquerading as a park across the street. I walked on and thought nothing of it…

Until Friday of last week when I got off the bus, headed down the steps of the underpass and saw it again. If you’ve never seen a pile of four day old human poop, it’s a sight to behold.

And then I forgot about it…

Until today.

When I got off the bus.

And it was STILL THERE.

It’s starting to get black like charcoal and shriveling, but its still a pile of human poop.

And I face a slight dilemma here because I’m thinking to myself, “who do I call?” Who’s job is it to clean up the poop? It must be someone’s job, right? And surely, I’m not the only person who has been witness to the defecation. And yet, it’s still there.

This is obviously a sign that Seattle does not do enough cleaning of its streets and sidewalks.

It’s bad enough I clean up my dog’s poop. But I draw the line at human poop. Humans should know better. There are other places more suitable for pooping. The next time one of those unfortunate souls asks for money, I’m going to slip the smelly guy a dollar and say, “Look, here’s a buck if you don’t poop on the steps anymore. Find a bush, for God’s sake.”

Okay, and now I promise not to write about poop in this blog for at least a month.