Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Nobody here but me and my...masochistic compulsion...

I recently read a short essay which mentioned Dr. Edmund Bergler, who basically says that writers write because of “psychic masochism”. He also coined the phrase “writer’s block”. So, according to him, we're either all crazy or we're completely repressed.

Thanks, doc. You're a big help.

(Psst, that was sarcasm, by the way...)

Although, I do have to say...sometimes the act of writing can feel manic or masochistic. But I don't think that means that writers are crazy. Okay, some writers are crazy.

But some normal people, or maybe just the ones who ride the bus here, are crazy, too.

At any rate, for me, writing is usually compulsive.

For instance, although I told myself to take a break for the month of October, I sort of cheated. For one, you may have noticed a couple of blog entries. Okay, that’s not a big deal. No diatribes. Nothing of serious content, but still. I could’ve left it alone, right?

Also, during my break, I wrote two songs. One of them was a blues song for a co-worker who is leaving the department. The other is a song for Lisa (I write a song for her every year for her birthday—I’m a little early this time around).

I’ve also started jamming out ideas for the Holiday Play. Yes, our department does its own sketches and whatnot—I’m now like the “creative consultant” on the project, which means I’m not quite head writer but not quite a peon, either.

And I have to write my Dramatists Guild report for the region for The Dramatist magazine. That’s due in…oh, a day…

For some people, writing is “fun”. I don’t know them or maybe I don’t want to hang out with them. Writing is not like flying a kite or going to Disneyland. It can be rewarding, joyous, and sometimes exciting, but it’s not “fun”. It’s like describing running a marathon as “fun”. Too much hard work and concentration goes into it to be “fun”.

Writing is hard work but it’s also a painful necessity. It’s an urgent need to express emotions, thoughts, and connect to another human being.

It’s hard to turn that off.

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